The secret to humor is surprise.
Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society.
William Makepeace Thackeray
That is the saving grace of humor: If you fail no one is laughing at you.
A. Whitney Brown
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
Harry S Truman
Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.