The secret to humor is surprise.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
Harry S Truman
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
That is the saving grace of humor: If you fail no one is laughing at you.
A. Whitney Brown
Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society.
William Makepeace Thackeray